can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
