Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
