I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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