I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
