i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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