wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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