What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
