what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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