I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
as a side note pls kill me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
