SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
