How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You may now shotgun with the bride
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
