i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
