this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
