I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
