carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
