Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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