my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
