I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize