My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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