I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
