When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
