so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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