No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
