I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
