Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
