we're blogging at a bar
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
