I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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