in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize