I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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