plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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