I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
