i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
