Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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