Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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