some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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