What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
