She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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