It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize