It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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