I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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