I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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