she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
