I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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