its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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