11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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