Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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