i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
