And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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