I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
