She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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