you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
