so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
