I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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