he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
