Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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