Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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