margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
