I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize