guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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