i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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