Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
