Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
