she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
