is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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