Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
