After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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