Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
