So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
