He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're a disaster
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