when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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